To my PMDD...

I never wanted you and I certainly never asked for you. You’re like a parasite in my mind that surfaces every few weeks, trying to destroy me.

Why do you do that? Is there something you’re trying to tell me, or are you intrinsically mean just because you are?

Sometimes I hate you. I want to rip you out - and I think you feel the same about me. But here’s the thing. You might not like this, but you have helped me too. 

You have shown me how strong and resilient I am. You taught me patience with myself and with others. You forced me (quite heavy-handedly) into allowing even the darkest of feelings to surface and you made me confront them when I wanted to shrink back. 

You helped me to understand my needs. I feel like I know my body more than any person could ever know their body! You’ve given me courage. You’ve pushed me towards critical self-care, even when I didn’t feel worthy. You taught me what and who matters. 

So thank you.

You and I are two peas in a very intense pod, hating each other isn’t going to get us anywhere. I’ll still never want you, and I know you’re determined to stay. But I’ll tell you a secret. 

So am I.

And if we’re both going to stay then I guess we need to make the best of it. We probably won’t ever get on - but I’ll respect you if you just let me have my good times. And when you’re shouting, I’ll listen and nurture you, and stand back to give you your space - as best as I can. 

Can we try to make this work?

MEET LAURA

I’m a PMDD fighter, podcaster, and women’s health advocate. I’m driven by my diagnosis of PMDD, and to make the future better for the next generation of women and AFAB individuals.

You can follow Laura on Instagram @lauratearejones or visit her website at tearejonescoaching.co.uk