Navigating the Storm: My Journey with PMDD

Growing up in a Cuban immigrant family, my understanding of menstruation and its effects on my body was limited. As a young girl, I experienced the onset of my menstrual cycle at the age of 12, and it was a confusing and unsettling experience. Little did I know that this would mark the beginning of a lifelong struggle with mood regulation, which I later discovered was linked to Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD). In this blog, I will share my personal story, from the challenges I faced as an immigrant to the profound impact of PMDD on my life and how I found hope and healing through diagnosis and treatment.

Immigration, Menstruation, & PMDD

Leaving my birthplace in Cuba at the age of 8 and moving to Spain was a significant upheaval in my young life. Adjusting to a new country, culture, and language posed its own set of challenges. However, it wasn't until I moved to the United States at the age of 14 that I noticed a distinct change in my mood and mental health. At the time, I attributed these struggles solely to the difficulties of the immigrant journey and the feelings of displacement and starting over in new places. I experienced intense anger, a sense of not belonging, and even contemplated suicide.

It wasn't until I turned 16 that my mom took me to a doctor who explained that some of my intense emotional symptoms could be linked to my menstrual cycle. However, it wasn't until years later, in 2021, as a first-year clinical psychology doctoral student, that I stumbled upon the term "PMDD" while perusing the DSM-5. Reading through the symptoms described, I could immediately identify with most of them. This newfound knowledge opened up a world of understanding, and I realized that my struggles were not solely due to my immigrant journey but also influenced by PMDD.

Armed with this new insight, I shared my discovery with my friends and made small lifestyle changes, but the impact on my symptoms was minimal. Recognizing the need for professional help, I began tracking my menstrual cycle and made an appointment with a psychiatrist and a therapist. The diagnosis of PMDD from both healthcare professionals brought me a sense of relief. Finally, there was a name for my suffering, and I had concrete steps to take toward healing.

Reflecting on the past, I realized that my mood swings and irrational behavior during the premenstrual phase had caused significant damage to my personal relationships. The intense irritability led to impulsive decisions, such as ending relationships, and I often experienced panic attacks and suicidal thoughts. The overall negative outlook on life during this time resulted in self-isolation, compounding my feelings of despair. Understanding the impact of PMDD on my life has been instrumental in rebuilding and strengthening these relationships.

Embracing Treatment and Transformation

After experiencing a particularly severe panic attack in January 2023, I resolved to take proactive steps to manage my PMDD. With the guidance of my healthcare team, I embarked on a treatment plan that included medication, therapy, and lifestyle modifications. The impact was life-changing. I started to regain control over my emotions, my relationships improved, and my overall well-being skyrocketed. PMDD no longer had a stranglehold on my life.

As a graduate student researching PMDD, I've come to realize the importance of educating women about this often-misunderstood condition. By sharing my story, I hope to raise awareness, promote early diagnosis, and encourage those who suffer in silence to seek help. PMDD is a real and valid disorder, and it deserves recognition and understanding. Through my research and personal experience, I have become an advocate for increased education and awareness surrounding PMDD. It is crucial that women, especially those from marginalized communities, receive the knowledge and support they need to identify and address this condition.

In my work as a clinical psychology doctoral student, I aim to shed light on PMDD by conducting research, participating in discussions, and advocating for improved resources and treatments. I am passionate about empowering women to recognize their symptoms, seek proper diagnosis, and access appropriate care. By breaking the silence and stigma surrounding PMDD, we can create a more compassionate and supportive society for those affected.

My journey with PMDD has been a rollercoaster of emotions, but it has also been a catalyst for personal growth and resilience. Through diagnosis, treatment, and education, I have transformed from a person overwhelmed by intense premenstrual symptoms into someone who understands their condition and has the tools to manage it. My hope is that by sharing my story, others who may be struggling with PMDD will feel less alone and inspired to seek help. Together, we can create a world where all women have the knowledge, resources, and support they need to navigate the storm of PMDD and live their lives to the fullest.